Thursday, February 23, 2017

TITLE : RELATIONSHIPS 101 PART 6 : THE LAW OF RESPECT

The theme of this article is based on this statement "Great leadership is built on great relationship." Relationship leaders also shy away from edicts and command-like methods. Today's workforce doesn't respond to a "because I'm the boss" rationale. Relationship is key!

Today I want to share with you some indicators (building blocks) to judge the strength of your relationship and ultimately build a stronger relational skills. I'll start with respect.

Respect : This is really the bedrock or starting point of building a good relationship. Respect is a building block of meaningful relationships, and it comes about when we place value on other people. All of us desires respect. And as leaders, each of us wants to be followed or respected.
Leaders ought to show respect before they have necessarily earned it.  You probably wondering should a leader respect his members..yeah.
As Ari Kiev writes, “Everyone wants to feel that he/ she counts for something and is important to someone. Invariably, people will give their love, respect, and attention to the person who fills that need. ” In other words, believing the best in people brings out the best in people.

What is Respect??

To respect someone in simple terms means to consider that person worthy of high value, worth, regard or esteem. It means to admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.

For a leader, respect is an absolutely crucial component of influence. Leading without respect is a little like trying to run in knee-deep mud…you tire quickly and go nowhere. Like most people, you have probably observed a boss or supervisor whose teammates did not respect him. No leader wants to be disrespected, but many leaders clearly command little to no respect. Now it's so good we understand the difference between a boss and a leader. A boss demands for respect by the virtue of their position while a leader commands respect by inspiration. For a leader respect is earned but to a boss it isn't. Here lies the question are you a boss or a leader? A boss leads by commands but a leader leads by pattern, modeling and inspiration. Respect distinguish a leader from a boss.
All true leaders must earn respect, once you don't you have become a dictator not a leader.

Respect And Love Balance.

I love balance in whatever i do or teach. Personally i do not think respect is enough for a leader. Not only do I want to be respected but I want to be loved because "true respect should be born out of love or admiration". My first goal is getting my people to love me not to respect me because respect minus love = short term influence. It won't last. If people respect you and don't love you it means you aren't leading by inspiration but by manipulation. Love can produce respect but respect may not produce love. If you are respected and not liked, then your influence (leadership) will be limited and short-lived. People will not fully trust you and will only follow you at a distance. In fact, they will circle around like vultures, waiting for you to fail. Your team is not likely to succeed because no one enjoys working for an unlovable leader. Eventually, you will burnout since no one is close enough for you to be able to share their care. Also If you are loved and not respected, your influence will also be limited and short-lived. People will follow you closely, but with insecurity and lack of confidence.

Reflection : Assuming you’ve not yet struck the perfect balance of respect and love in which of the two areas do you need to invest?